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Posts from the ‘Life’ Category

Coboconk, Ontario

Canada's Smallest Jail

Canada’s Smallest Jail

I’m in heat. No really. There are so many beautiful men walking through the streets of Toronto that I can barely contain myself. The only way to cool off and to distract myself from perverted thoughts was to make the trip to Coboconk, just outside of Lindsay, Ontario. The heat was brutal, but the scenery was worth it. For those unfamiliar, Coboconk is a community in the city of Kawartha lakes, on the northern tip of Balsam Lake. Coboconk has a rich history amongst the villages of Kawartha Lakes, and has played a prominent role in the logging, limestone, and tourism industries for over 150 years. Of course, the main attraction is Canada’s smallest jail. Go figure.

Pattie House

Pattie House

Pharmacy

Pharmacy

Downtown

Downtown

Variety Gift Shop

Variety Gift Shop

Barn

Barn

Coboconk houses

There are countless beautiful homes in Coboconk

Coboconk houses

I love the red

Coboconk houses

Twins!

Coboconk houses

Tiny, and I want to live here

Ice cream

Ice cream

Coboconk cemetery

Coboconk cemetery

Coboconk

Northern tip of Balsam Lake

May long weekend at Balsam Lake

Balsam Lake

Balsam Lake

I can’t help but look around this green earth and thank heavens I’m alive. The world is a magnificently beautiful creature, one that demands attention and respect. This weekend we drove to Balsam Lake and spent quality time with the McCallum’s. The weather was excruciatingly beautiful without a cloud in the sky. A couple of mornings I awoke before the rest of the crew and captured some photographs to document the physical evidence of the tremendous radiance of the Balsam landscape. Good company never hurts, so Lisa accompanied us and entertained with her warm sense of humour. With good food, great conversation and amazing temperatures, I can confidently say we all had an experience to remember.

Balsam Lake

6:30 a.m.

Balsam Lake

On the boat house

Balsam Lake

7 a.m.

Balsam Lake

Make a wish!

Balsam Lake

Empty Chairs

Balsam Lake

Dirt road

Balsam Lake

Lisa making veggie burgers!

Balsam Lake

Lisssssaaaaaaa!!!!

Balsam Lake

The gas station and corner store

Balsam Lake

Balsam Lake Provincial Park

Balsam Lake

My shadow

Sun

Sun

The moon over Balsam Lake

The moon over Balsam Lake

The University of Guelph

Johnston Hall

Johnston Hall still stands proud

For reasons unknown to even myself, I’ve been feeling melancholy lately. To lift my spirits and to get out of the house I ventured an hour out of Toronto to the sleepy town of Guelph, Ontario where I went to university. Not even the crisp warm weather could help as I was deflated by nostalgia. So little of the campus has changed in the ten years since I graduated. As I was walking the hallowed grounds I had visions of myself and most of my friends all blurry eyed and stupid from youth, wandering the corridors and creating drama out of the slightest insignificant misunderstandings. Good times.

We’ve come a long way from those humble days, but despite the progress, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss. Maybe it’s as cliché as the loss of innocence, I don’t really know. But something about our naiveté, our blatant selfishness and foolish attitudes makes me smile. I’m glad that I’m not a teenager anymore, don’t get me wrong, but I made the best of friends at the University of Guelph, and they remain very dear to me. Now all in our 30s we’re scattered across this great country of ours, but the shared experiences continue to unite us. I think.

Enough of this shameless sentiment. Here are some of the photos I took today.

Johnston Hall

Johnston Hall is a student residence

Horticulture building

The Horticulture building

The Greenhouse

The Greenhouse

Alumni House

Alumni House

The Bullring

The Bullring

War Memorial Hall

War Memorial Hall

Arts House

Arts House where Amy and Raquel lived in their first year of university

Creelman Hall

Creelman Hall

Raithby House

Raithby House

The cannon

The cannon is painted daily. I don’t know why. It’s tradition!

U of G Library

The university library where Alisha, Raquel and I worked for 3 years

My birthday dinner at Ethiopian House

I had an early birthday dinner at Ethiopian House located south of Bloor and west of Yonge. Vegetarian dishes include spicy split peas, chick peas rich in garlic, lentils, crunchy collard greens and smooth-roasted potatoes. It was luscious. The best part is the coffee, which has a preparation time of 30 minutes. Afterwards I went for a beer. And now, I’m ready to fall asleep watching copious amounts of The Golden Girls.

Thanks to my friends who sent well-wishes. Much love to you all.

Here are my birthday flowers, in bold Technicolor!

Ethiopian House
4 Irwin Ave.
Toronto

Today is my birthday

I woke this morning with the words of Sylvia Plath floating in my head. “I may never be happy, but at least, today, I am content.” That sentiment reminded me of Lauren Bacall, who in a recent interview with Vanity Fair asked, “How can any thinking person in this world be happy?” I am abundantly aware of how lucky I am to have the time to think about my own happiness, because throughout the world, famine, disease and war have stripped countless others of a similar privilege.

Every day animals are senselessly slaughtered. Children go hungry. Women are raped. Gay people are killed. I cannot live without recognizing this truth, and by doing so, appreciate the life that I have been blessed with.

Last year I embarked on a quiet, personal, spiritual journey. I gave up my job, vowed never to be tied to the politics of an emotionless, toxic office environment again, and set upon finding my path, and in that journey, found peace within my soul. I stopped chasing impossible expectations; I sat, I listened to my heart, and I lived with passion.

What I learned from all of this self-reflection was not what I need, but to revere what I already have. Love. I have so much love in my life that it would make any man envious. To borrow a line from Marvin’s Room, where a terminally ill Diane Keaton mutters to her sister Meryl Streep, “I have been so lucky to have loved.”

I have been so lucky to have loved. So here it is. I am 33. On we grow.

The Toronto Gaybourhood

Church St. 2011

Church St. during pride week 2011

Church and Wellesley is the home of Toronto’s LGBT community and is located downtown. It is referred to as “The Village”, “Gaybourhood”, “Gay Ghetto et. al.  For those of you less familiar, the American television show Queer as Folk was filmed here.

The neighbourhood has provided a safe haven for queer culture for decades, but as times have changed, and society has become more embracing of gay people, it’s no longer the sanctuary it once was. The residents of the area are now predominantly middle-aged men with careers. High rents mean that the majority of gay youth cannot afford to live in the neighbourhood, and many no longer feel it necessary to live near the village as they can be more open about their sexuality elsewhere. Many have expressed concern about the decline of the neighbourhood’s appeal with youth and its loss of small businesses, and questions about its future linger.

Toronto gay pride 2011

Toronto celebrates gay pride for one full week during the summer

As Parkdale and Queen St. West become popular communities for queers, some feel that in the near future, Church Street may no longer be the heart of the gay community. Others argue that this isn’t the case, judging by the large crowds of gay men that are still prevalent on Church Street, especially during the summer.

Whatever the future may hold I have fond memories of the area. When I was a teenager I was fascinated with its charm, but in my twenties became less so. It’s only been in the last couple of years that I have visited the pubs along the street more frequently, recognizing how important the neighbourhood is to gay history.

Toronto gay pride 2011

The streets are often crowded, and it can be overwhelming

Some afternoons I’ll nurse a pint by the bar and watch the regulars, many now in their 50s, and imagine what they were like when they were my age (I turn 33 on Monday). I wonder what struggles they faced and how they’ve watched Church and Wellesley change and evolve over the years. Their histories intrigue me.

Today, during my morning stroll I took a few pictures of iconic features that represent the spirit of the neighbourhood. Here they are.

The AIDS Memorial Wall

The AIDS Memorial Wall

Located in Cawthra Square Park, The AIDS Memorial is engraved with the names of over 2,500 people who have died of HIV/AIDS in Ontario. It’s a sombre reminder of a disease that ravaged the gay community in the 1980s.

Plaque of names

The plaques of names date from 1981 to 2012

The 519 Church Street Community Centre

The 519 Church Street Community Centre

The 519“, as it is affectionately called, is the hub of community life in the village. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, two-spirit and queer (LGBTTQ) communities and friends are offered a wide range of internationally renowned programs and services that operate on an anti-oppression framework.

Priape Toronto

Priape Toronto

Underwear, leather, porn, sex toys, whatever your fantasy, you can find it here at Priape, a famous and popular location in the heart of the gay community. No shame, just pride!

Steamworks Toronto

Steamworks Toronto

Probably the most popular gay bathhouse/sauna in Toronto, Steamworks is where gay men over the age of 18 can enter and, well, have sex, to put it bluntly. BlogTO recently published a review of the facility that proved too controversial for some readers.

The Second Cup

The Second Cup

Made famous by the comedy troupe, Kids in the Hall, Second Cup was a place where gay men would hang out and shoot the shit for a couple of hours. A few years ago, due to high rent, it disappeared but recently returned without the steps that made it so iconic.

The Churchmouse

The Churchmouse

This is my favourite pub in the village, and where you’re most likely to find me on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon, pint in hand, reading the newspaper. It has a great patio, and during the summer it’s almost impossible to find an empty table.

Woody's Toronto

Woody's Toronto

Every Friday and Saturday night Woody’s hosts a “best ass” competition where patrons are invited on stage for the audience to judge and rate the hotness of their bare apples. It’s a lot of fun, and if you’re drunk enough you might find yourself dropping your pants! I never have, although once a drag queen had me in a death grip as she tried to force me on the stage. The winner receives a $300 cash prize. Not a bad deal.

Although different bars, Sailor’s and Woody’s aren’t separated by an interior wall, so you can easily pass from one to the other for more cruising!

Crews and Tango

Crews and Tangos

This was once a lesbian bar, but is now mixed. They have weeknight drag shows, which are hit or miss, depending on the queen. I was kicked out of this bar once because I called a bartender an asshole. I thought he was being rude to me. It wasn’t my best moment.

Hair of the Dog

Hair of the Dog

Another good patio known for its delicious menu and wide martini selection. At least, that’s what I think it’s known for. They also serve some of the best beer in the city.

Buddies in Bad Times Theatre

Buddies in Bad Times Theatre

One of the longest running queer theatres in Canada. It also acts as a bar and event space where you can dance it up with your friends during the evening. A cover charge usually applies.

The Black Eagle

The Black Eagle

I’ve never stepped foot into this leather bar, but have always been curious, and afraid. Frequented by cubs, bears and leather-daddies, I think I’m too vanilla for this crowd.

The Alexander Wood Statue

The Alexander Wood Statue

Alexander Wood moved to Upper Canada in 1793 from Scotland and settled in York (now Toronto) in 1797. He became a well-respected magistrate and merchant but in 1810 Wood was embroiled in a scandal.

A woman by the name of Miss Bailey reported to Wood that she was raped by an unknown militiaman, noting that she had scratched the genitals of her attacker. Wood launched an investigation where he subjected a group of young men to an intimate physical examination.

Gossip quickly spread, and Wood was given the nickname “Molly” Wood. Ridiculed daily he returned to Scotland, though his exile would last less than two years, and he was back in Toronto by 1812. The land he had owned now inhabits Toronto’s gay village, and the neighbourhood has three streets named after him; Alexander Street, Alexander Place and Wood Street.

Perfect!

And there you have it, an introduction to Toronto’s gay village.

Shoe fetish and musings about entitlement

Since living in Argentina for seven months I have become accustomed to life without luxury. In fact South America taught me a lot about how blindly North American’s covet possessions to stave off tremendous boredom. It’s not that I wasn’t already aware of that fact, but now that I’m in Toronto I can appreciate more of Argentine culture that I refused to while I was there.

For starters, Torontonians are incredibly stuck up people! I mean it. If I judge by my condo building alone, they are the most uptight people in the world. Relax a little guys, don’t take yourselves so seriously. I recognize now, how wrong it was of me in Buenos Aires to not see the humour when someone made a light joke at my expense. Talk about sensitive! Turn that frown upside down, mister!

To mask our boredom Torontonians participate in a shit load of extra curricular activities, and make trends and fads out of everything, the top on that list would be food, which women seem to almost want to make love to. Growing up Italian and having homemade meals every night, I don’t understand the fascination with food North Americans have, but they are obsessed with the very topic. I’ve tried to play along, and have even posted a few entries on my blog about meals that I’ve made here at home, but I just feel like a tool afterwards. Food doesn’t excite me the way an evening out with friends does.

Torontonians also love clubs. We love to belong to book clubs, baking clubs, cycling clubs, running clubs, you name it, we sign up for them. But they don’t make us any smarter, fitter or friendlier, if you ask me. We just end up acting smug, as though we’re more enlightened for having ripped off another culture for our own entertainment.

North Americans believe that the more they consume the happier they will be, but statistics don’t lie. Happiness indexes universally demonstrate that although we are the wealthiest, we are also the most depressed. When I was in South America some Argentines would ask me why we take so many pills in North America. It was in fact, a good question. They’re more happy and with very little. And then spoiled rotten people like me move there and complain because I have to wait an extra five minutes in line to get a razor. The shame I feel now, is unbelievable.

Torontonians  (I’m sure it can be applied to other parts of North America)  have an unhealthy sense of entitlement. One of the things I hear my friends say often is that they “deserve it.” This is odd to me. They’ll call in sick on a Friday and make an appointment at the spa, justifying their choice with the familiar, “I deserve this.” Everyone deserves to pamper themselves from time to time, I certainly have, but we demand it, shamelessly.

If you ask me the people who “deserve it” are the ones who live and work for very little and struggle to put food on their table to feed their families. The ones who have lived in generational poverty and who have been shunned by society as having less value and worth. Those are the people who deserve it, not a public relations specialist.

Last night I cracked open my closet and with a garbage bag in hand began eliminating items from my wardrobe. For years I have done this; every couple of months I like to give away clothes to Goodwill or some other charitable organization, because there are people who will wear something that I no longer do, and who need them more. I must have had 20 sweaters that I no longer wear just sitting there waiting to be loved. And so, though it was challenging, I filled that garbage bag up to the top and this morning walked over to the Goodwill on Richmond St. E. and gave it away. As soon as I made the decision to donate items that I had, but wasn’t using, I understood how surprisingly painless and freeing downsizing can be.

The hardest part for me are my shoes. I have a shoe fetish, I’m not going to lie. I have downsized and now own 15 pairs, but I need to simplify some more. But even I, despite all my musings in this post, struggle with consumption. What is it about the human species that we draw attachments to material objects so easily? The more we own the more valuable we think we are.

Of course I will have to end this post on the side of being preachy. I apologize, I am not Oprah, I do not pretend to have all the answers at the expense and exploitation of others for my own monetary gain. All I have is a philosophy that I try to remember while navigating through life’s rocky moments. So here it is: Our value is not determined by our occupation, or how much money we make, or how much, and what we own. It is determined by how we treat those who are less fortunate than us, and how we can change the world through selfless acts.

For me, that’s what I aspire to. A job, a car, a home, don’t even come secondary. Humility is the most important characteristic a person can possess.

Hump day walk

Chinatown Mural, Toronto

Part 1 of a mural in Chinatown

Anxiety had me awake at 4:30 this morning. I did some work, had a shower, took Maude out for her morning washroom break, grabbed a coffee from Starbucks and went for a long walk by 7:30. Toronto is never more impressive than when asleep. The streets are strikingly bare, right before the poor bastards begin their early morning commute. I love how quiet Toronto can be, it helps clear my head and calms my nerves. I walked all the way to Kensington Market up Dundas and then South on Spadina through Queen West and then back home where I sit now typing this entry. The morning Spring brings with it such feelings of possibility. I can’t think of anything more exhilarating, can you?

Chinatown Mural 2, Toronto

Part 2 of mural in Chinatown

Chinatown, Toronto

A small section of Chinatown in Toronto

Kensington Street, Toronto

Kensington Street at 8 in the morning.

Synagogue, Kensington Market

A synagogue in Kensington Market

Synagogue, Kensington Market

Simple yet beautiful

Mural at AGO

Street art behind the Art Gallery of Ontario

Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO)

The Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO). The Picasso exhibit begins May 1.

Campbell House Museum, Toronto

The Campbell House Museum on Queen St. W.

Canadian Opera Company, Toronto

Toronto Canadian Opera Company

Osgoode Hall, Toronto

Osgoode Hall Law School

Old City Hall, Toronto

Old City Hall

St. Lawrence Hall

St. Lawrence Hall

Harlem Toronto

Great caribbean cuisine on Richmond St. E.

What’s your duck face like?

A friend of mine loves to take photos of his wife. In these photos she holds a familiar pose: Her hand firmly placed on her hip, her curly brunette hair blowing in the wind, or fan, or whatever. It got me thinking about my own pose, which consists of lips firmly pressed, head tilted and eyes squinting into the glare of the intense flash.

There’s the faux candid photo, the duck face, “the selfy”, the Angelina, and a plethora more of poses we often see in magazines and facebook profile photos the world over that tell our friends and potential lovers we’re beautiful.

Here are a few examples of my staple pose. What’s yours?

Happy Friday the 13th!

I’m scared already.

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