Healing old wounds: Friendship battle scars
Like any relationship, friendships need to be nurtured. I’ve invested deeply in the ones that I believe are worth my energy and that commitment has strengthened my character. A good friend is someone who will accept you for who you are, remain judgment free and whom you can trust. I haven’t always succeeded at honouring these criteria myself, but maturing has helped me live what I preach.
Raquel and I lived together when we were in third year university and I treated her horribly. After four months, and one awful argument, I moved out and we spoke little for some time after. However, because of her big heart and forgiving nature we eventually resolved the conflict, buried the hatchet and remain close today. Though we see each other infrequently in the winter, that usually corrects itself in the warmer, albeit shorter summer months.
Lisa and I have known each other since we were 6-years-old and our parents houses are separated by just one block. Many times when we were younger we would walk through our neighbourhood and make fun of the Christmas decorations on the houses. Then we would go to the local pub and drink lager and sing bad karaoke. Fun times. Like me, Lisa went travelling, having lived in Taiwan and India for almost three years. Seems like such a long time ago.
Due to our long-lasting friendship Lisa and I have a tendency to fight like siblings and we once went almost a year without speaking to one another. I think you treat the people you love the most the worst, and we’ve exchanged some awful words. But that was a long time ago, and since then we’ve learned to respect ourselves more, and in doing so strengthened our bond. Lisa and I have a tendency to annoy those around us because we often fall into childish behaviour when together, laughing uncontrollably at what would appear to others as banal observations.
The most beneficial part of any platonic relationship is that when things aren’t going as well as they have in the past, you can step away for a bit and reflect on what the person means to you, and if the friendship is still enriching your life. Some friendships are meant to end, because you both grow in different directions. Some of us regress, while others flourish.
However, a good friendship stands the test of time. You can go three, four years without setting eyes on each other, but when you reunite, it’s like no time has passed at all.