Erik Rhodes dead at 30
I learned through reading a couple of gay blogs that porn actor Erik Rhodes died in his sleep at the age of 30. Rhodes was an active steroid user and many bloggers believe that it was his drug use that contributed to his death.
A glance at Rhodes’ personal blog paints a picture of a troubled, and severely depressed person. It led me to wonder if drug use led to his death, or mental illness.
As a whole, we don’t like to talk about mental illness, because it’s an uncomfortable topic. We often erroneously believe that a person with clinical depression is plain crazy, and leave it at that.
I’ve left a few comments on the blogs saying that I believe Rhodes depression was the reason he died, and that his steroid use was merely a symptom of a greater problem. It’s telling that gay bloggers tend to blame it on his fitness etiquette, and are using his death as an opportunity to preach against steroid use.
Let’s face it, if he was insecure about his body image to begin with (which many of us are), it’s unlikely that it would have been alleviated by working in the gay porn industry, where personal value is determined solely on one’s physical appearance.
I’ve written about this before, but from my experiences, the gay community has placed limited parameters, and standards on physical appearance. Those who buy into this fallacy, are always the first to say, “but everyone is beautiful just the way they are.” Clearly it’s rhetoric, designed to mask their vanity. To preach that everyone should accept their body type, while coveting a specific physique for yourself, is the ultimate mixed-message.
Maybe I’m missing the point all together, but drug addicts are often attempting to ease their emotional pain from years of abuse, whether it be physical or emotional. They’re finding it challenging to face and overcome their insecurities. Why not call a spade a spade? Why pretend that it’s less complex, when drug use is never that simple?
There were possibly many enablers to Rhodes, and our general complacency towards the affliction of others and our apathy towards mental illness didn’t help. I understand the reluctance to get involved in someone else’s personal troubles, but I know, as a friend, I would be there if someone I loved was having a hard time.
Rhodes’ blog is a fine example of someone struggling with clinical depression, and I wonder why those who claim to have loved him, didn’t get him the help he desperately needed?
In the end, this had nothing to do with steroids, and everything to do with mental illness. I don’t know what caused his depression, but it’s clear that he was screaming out for help well before his death.
I possess great compassion and seek to be of service to others. 
Very sad. All of the stories of steroid users I have heard end badly.
From a personal perspective, my brother used steroids for many years. It wasn’t the steroids that were the problem, but his profound unhappiness that impeded is judgment. He made poor decisions because his insecurity guided him, and he wasn’t strong enough to just say no. Somehow, he thought that by being bigger he would be accepted, and embraced by a sub-culture.
In my experience, having someone close to you who struggles with clinical depression is a bit of a mixed bag. Often times, people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they aren’t usually aware that someone is struggling with depression. Other times, the person struggling with depression hides it so well that one would ever know until it’s too late. And finally, the situation that I’ve dealt with the most, you can only offer so much help before the situation is entirely in the hands of the depressed. Whether it be drug addiction, or some other form of self harm that stems from depression, I think that someone isn’t going to seek or accept help until they are ready to face whatever issues they are dealing with, and that in and of itself is a excruciatingly difficult thing to do. It comes to a point where a friend can’t do any more except try their best to be there for the friend while they are dealing with something beyond there understanding.
I absolutely agree with you that an addict or mentally ill person needs to be cognitively capable and emotionally ready to get the help that they need. They have to want it. In my opinion, from the posts I read from Rhodes’ tumblr blog, (which has since been pulled down), it was obvious that his public grievances about his struggles in life needed attention, from someone, even if it was his employer. People like Lindsay Lohan, for example, should not be exploited further with offering of film roles; they have to get the help that they need, or they will die. In cases like these two, everyone is aware that they are hurting, there’s no ambiguity about it. I know from helping friends with depression that it’s exhausting and frustrating, but any offering of love is better than none. Thank you for your articulate and well written ideas on the subject.