To keep a job, or not
When I feel low, I look at this picture of my cat Beenie, and feel instantly better
Part of the reason I left Toronto for adventures in South America was that I had grown tired of the rat race. On paper everything was amazing. I had a thriving career, a great salary, I was working for a reputable not-for-profit organization, I owned property, I was able to spend summer weekends at the cottage, you name it, I had it.
But it came at too high a price. I found myself working in environments that were toxic and emotionally unhealthy. I have never identified with my job, I know who I am sans my occupation and title. Even though I worked for reputable health organizations in Toronto, it wasn’t the kind of thing I would spend my personal time discussing with friends. In fact, I often refused to socialize with work colleagues because I resisted the need to gossip about work outside of work. Plus I had a wonderful life and shared it with people who knew me for who I was innately, and not how I performed in my job.
Over the years my friends have sought my counsel in trying to make a decision if they should leave their current job. My advice to them is consistent: If you’re unhappy, and you have exhausted all avenues to correct the situation, then yes. Even if you have yet to secure a job to transition into, leave. Why do I say this? Because employers will never give a second thought about giving you the pink slip. It doesn’t matter how many years of loyal service you have given them. The days of loyalty are over. I have worked with colleagues who have devoted over 15 years of service to their place of employment only to find themselves disposed of when a new CEO appears with a new “vision”.
I have also worked with individuals who truly lacked empathy and compassion for their peers. They had bought into the notion that their lives were synonymous with their occupation, and they would do anything to protect it. Somewhere along their journey, they became trapped in a life they never really asked themselves if they wanted. And now, to pay for the car, the mortgage, the kids, the summer holidays and what have you, they were in a hell of their own making.
To put it bluntly, they lived their lives based on socially accepted norms and standards, and did not actively pave their own way. They could not separate their happiness, from their job.
Luckily I could and I still can. I have no regrets leaving behind my career. None whatsoever. You couldn’t pay me enough to go back to it. I can’t imagine sitting inside a cubicle for seven hours a day attempting to avoid office politics and co-workers behaving like teenagers.
With this philosophy I’ve become fearless. I’m not 24-years-old anymore afraid of losing my job. If you see an employer behaving badly, don’t emulate his/her style, challenge it! No matter the cost. Stay true to your convictions, and don’t compromise when you know something is completely unethical or mean-spirited.
When I moved to Buenos Aires I taught English for the first five months and then found a maternity leave contract position with the possibility of renewal. It offered stability, a relatively reasonable salary, flexible hours and the choice to work from home, which I relished. To top it off, I got to write, daily.
During my first week I met with the owner who appeared excited that I was beginning this new adventure with his company and he expressed vivid interest in keeping me on past the contract, because as he put it, there was more than enough work.
I have received countless praise from my colleagues and my supervisors regarding my performance. Even the clients have told me personally what a wonderful and refreshing job I have been doing.
Two weeks ago I spoke with my supervisor and told her that my three months were almost up and inquired if they had made a decision about my future role in the organization. I said that it’s okay if they don’t have room for me in the budget, but that they would have to let me know so that I can be free to look for a new job. She said to me that she was keen to keep me, and was meeting with the owner this week to discuss the parameters of my new role. I said fine. Just let me know.
I received a message yesterday saying that they would not be able to give me an answer regarding my future employment for another two weeks. I paused. “So what you’re saying is that in two weeks I may not have a job?” She answered, “Yes.”
Well that simply wasn’t good enough for me. She then began to tell me how I had to prove the strength of my articles by filling out yet another spreadsheet documenting how many unique visitors each article received. I was a little dismayed by this, because you either know if you want to keep me on, or you don’t. I’m not going to be jumping through hoops with the slim chance that you’re going to hire me on as a full-time employee, especially since I come to the job with more years of experience than my colleagues.
Anyway, I thought it over during the evening and realized that this was not the way I was going to allow myself to be treated. I resigned this morning effective the end of the month. It was the right thing to do.
I don’t know why employers think that they have all the power in these situations. I’ve lived through and seen too much staff turmoil in my life, and I recognize red flags from a mile away. If you can’t give me a definitive answer about my future in the company, and are attempting to convince me that you’ll know in two weeks, I don’t know, I just smell a rat. If I was alone, broke and single, they would be holding all the cards to my future, and that’s not fair.
I don’t play games, and I am certainly not a fan of ambiguity.
Life’s too short.
I possess great compassion and seek to be of service to others. 
I couldn’t agree more. I admire your courage to walk away. I’m stuck in a cubicle and working on a way out but it is mighty slow in coming. Good luck with the next adventure!
P.S. Love the picture of Beenie!!
Thanks, she’s 6 now, and as adorable as ever.
It took me a long time to find the courage to get out, but once I did, you have no idea how free I felt. I remember waking up the next day with the biggest smile on my face. I knew no matter what, I would figure it out and everything was going to be fine.
Bravo! Bravo! Encore Encore! Geez this is so refreshing that someone out there see’s how these corporations and jobs for the most part rape our souls. I love that you choose to live authentically and don’t let them sucker punch you ! I myself, although not at the level you lived, just left a similar situation where I saw the same EXACT thing happen all the time to good people. Yay us!
I feel that perhaps I may have overreacted but something about how they were keeping me waiting, saying it would take two weeks for them to know for sure, didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t trust it. I kept wanting more clarity, but received more ambiguity. Thanks for the comment. And congrats on moving forward! I’m doing the same!
Yes! You listened to that inner voice and treated it well my friend, love it.
In the end I made the right decision for me. Thanks again.
Bravo once again, Franco! This is such an important message. You already know how I feel about it.
I do know, and I applaud your commitment to volunteering, so many people could benefit emotionally and spiritually if they dedicated some time during the week to help someone other than themselves.
Love love love this post! I share a similar perspective. Every time I’ve walked away from what friends and family deem a great job I have been rewarded with so much more. Either fun new experiences, growth in my career, new places to visit or really great people who have become lifelong friends. Thank you for reminding us all to be brave in how we live!
Thank you, but I don’t consider myself brave. I think we fall into traps, and live our lives for other people, instead of asking ourselves what it is that we want. Unfortunately too many of us covet materialism, and rarely reflect on what’s more important: Our soul. I know that sounds cheesy, but I believe it, with all my heart. Thanks for commenting!
I agree but I also think some people just need the reminder and encouragement to believe in themselves. And for many, that very act is brave. That is what I meant by that comment. I think choices that are hard, push us out of our comfort zone, potentially require us to leave friends and family are daunting and it takes courage and self-belief to make those choices. Your story is one great example of why it’s important to believe in ourselves and make brave choices that might seem extraordinarily hard to some of your readers. That’s all.
Yes I believe you’re absolutely right. In that sense, bravery is required! Thank you for the lovely comments, I really appreciate them.
Amen sister. Life is too short. I left my “dream job” three years and I’ve never been happier. No matter how much people think that their job defines them it truly doesn’t. I’m me that’s it. I recently had to turn down a gig because I didn’t feel that I could give it the full attention that it would need right now. They asked if I know anyone else “like me” that I could recommend for the position. I had to honestly say no – there’s only one. Now that’s empowering.
I was in an interview once where the moderator kept checking her BlackBerry incessantly. I finally stopped the interview and asked her that if I was conducting myself in the same manner as she was if she would consider me for the job. She stuttered and finally said, “no”, to which I replied, “then why should I consider you as my next employer?” I abruptly ended the interview by confessing that I’m not so desperate to consider a job where this is how they behave in an interview. Her jaw dropped. That was most certainly empowering. I don’t know why they think they can get away with these attitudes, but I suppose it’s because we let them.
I love your response to her horrible behavior and for walking out. Since I’ve been out of the corporate world I concentrate on being in the present – paying attention to what’s going on and to whomever I happy to be with. As Franco pointed out, life is short, I don’t want to miss anything.
I wouldn’t say that her behaviour was terrible, but she clearly had poor human relations skills. In the end, it’s just a job, and it means nothing, so I’m happily able to walk away and concentrate on the things that are important.
I wish I could own a Company to hire you immediately not for doing a simple job but just the way you are and the way you think, loving the animals the way you do, an excess of assets !
Thanks, I hope you’re not spam! Ha!