Comments on: Shoe fetish and musings about entitlement

By: Franco

Franco — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 17:28:48 +0000

Well said.

By: Alex Autin

Alex Autin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 17:27:17 +0000

I think you may be experiencing culture shock, and it’s to be expected. For me, it always hits the hardest after arriving back in the States after being away for extended periods of time. It always seems the things I missed while being away are never quite the same, but I think the reality is that I am not quite the same. I’m seeing things differently.

This is not to say the things you write about North America are not true. We’ve grown passionless. We work more, spend more, and live less. We substitute amusement and entertainment for joy, amazement, and happiness. We’re so concerned with how we’ll live the last 5% of our lives that we willingly sacrifice the first 95%. We’re afraid to live and afraid to love with reckless abandon….as if there is any other way to love.

By: Franco

Franco — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 16:34:49 +0000

Thank you for the kind comment. For me acquiring “things” is a constant battle. I grew up in a working-class Italian immigrant family. I was taught the value of a dollar and how much work it takes to have nice things. Saying that I myself am a purger, and I know how to disassociate sentiment from objects. Sometimes I fail, but I learn from those mistakes. Living in South America I understood how easily I could live without attachments, and it was an incredibly freeing experience. Then I come back to Toronto and fall into all the same traps that I didn’t need in Argentina to make me happy.

About food. I by no means dislike foodies. My cousin is a pastry chef in Italy and I understand how food can be enjoyable. But again, growing up, food was cultural, and I find in North America, we turn cultures into fads or trends to amuse ourselves, without paying homage to history. I think it’s also a testament to our wealth; where my ancestors valued every meal because they were poor, we take photos of our dinner, post them on facebook, and leave the food on the plate. Because we can. Some people eat to live, and some eat for entertainment. It’s all very strange to me! But again, there are exceptions to this, and not everyone fits into this mould.

By: Alex Autin

Alex Autin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 16:14:35 +0000

Excellent post. It’s amazing how seeing things through different eyes often changes us…and usually for the better.

I agree with you about food. Though I love a great meal in a nice restaurant, I much rather a simple meal with good company. The conversation and connections outlast the meal itself.

When it comes to things, I am also a ‘purger’. I have to get rid of things, I can’t stand the clutter of things I don’t want, or don’t use, or don’t need. Several years ago I gave everything away, and I’ve yet to replace them. I now only ‘own’ my laptop, cell phone, camera, and very few clothes. Since then I’ve also learned to buy very few things. I’m not opposed to ‘things’, I admire other people’s things and I will completely get caught up in their joy and excitement of them, I just no longer feel the want to possess them. I’ve never felt more free or more focused on the things which truly matter.

This is one of your best, most insightful, posts Franco. Well done.

By: Franco

Franco — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:27:48 +0000

In addition, I don’t believe that I am badmouthing an entire city of people. These are my observations and experiences as I juxtapose and compare them with my life in Argentina. Some people may take offence to the language that I use to describe people ie: Torontonians are uptight, but I am not alone in these observations, nor do I apologize for highlighting them because I do not believe that it applies to everyone in every situation. When I compare Torontonians to the warm, friendly attitudes of Argentine people, I can’t help but wonder why our culture isn’t as embracing. That’s not to say that there are not people in this city who are.

By: Franco

Franco — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:54:04 +0000

I think that addressing the fact that I have 20 sweaters and posting a photo of my shoes is my point. I am not immune to North American entitlement, nor do I pretend to be. It shocks me as much as it does you that I am aware of the problems prevalent in Western society, but yet also, benefit from them. Like I said, it’s odd how we attach ourselves to objects that have no value.

By: Strawberryindigo

Strawberryindigo — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:51:15 +0000

I agree with you that Westerners have had it too good for too long. This I understand. I try to appreciate the finer things in life, which to me is the love of my family and friends.

What I don’t understand is how you can badmouth people, a whole city of people with carpet generalizations. You say they are spoiled….you have TWENTY sweaters that you no longer like. YOU take pictutres of all your shoes…how many people in this world have no shoes at all.

You flaunt your Western wealth and then complain about people like you. I am glad you are giving them away but was it not a waste to buy so much you obviously don’t need? I like clothes and shoes too but really…..the pot is calling the kettle black…..in my humble opinion.