Today at Starbucks while ordering a Café Americano the barista asked for my name. I told her that it was Franco. She made a “tsk tsk” sound and said, “No, Frrraaannncccooo” rolling her “r” as she corrected me on the pronunciation of my own name. Listen, in Canada, it’s Franco not Frrraannnccooooo. Just saying.
I didn’t get that research coordinator job I wrote about last week. Dang. I don’t know what went wrong, perhaps I was overqualified, and if I am to be honest, I was. I mean I was the Senior Communications Specialist for the largest children’s hospital in Canada, I think I can handle a coordinator’s position. Oh well, it’s their loss. I would have been great fun, but they don’t know what they’re missing.
In the last two weeks I have had a lot of time to think about who I am and what I want out of my life. Perhaps most refreshing is that I am attempting to be less critical of myself. I have found that when I am hard on myself, I set unattainable standards for those close to me.
Since childhood I’ve been told by friends and family what I’m not as opposed to what I am, and so I have learned that if I spend the rest of my life waiting for a compliment from other people, I could be waiting forever. One of the qualities I like the most about myself is my passion for living. Rather than settling, I’ve always pushed myself to explore more. What I should be focussing my energy on is building my confidence and self-respect so that I can give the world more of my love. When I refer to confidence and self-respect I don’t mean arrogance, because that is a very different beast all together, and I don’t want to be arrogant. I want to focus on the positive aspects of life, and not negativity.
I love that scene in Fatal Attraction where Glenn Close’s character is telling Michael Douglas that she won’t be ignored. In this life it’s so easy to be ignored by people because we’re often too concerned about our own lives to care very much about anyone else. Fair enough, we all have our own shit going on and life is very difficult.
I recently read this great quote: “Work (meaning occupation) is much easier than life.” Such a simple sentiment, but at the same time profound; many of us don’t take the time and think about ourselves as whole individuals, and our part in making this world more pure and safe, not only for our children, but for our peers, our friends and our family. We’re obsessed with consuming and our own image, aesthetic or otherwise. “What will the neighbours think?” We never stop and see how damaging this mindset is.
Listen being introspective is not a weakness. Outlining our flaws creates a path that will ultimately make us stronger; in that vein we become better partners, lovers, brothers, sisters, mothers and father, et. al.
I may not know how to pronounce my own name, but I do know a thing or two about the importance of insight. The ability to perceive clearly and deeply begins with ourselves.
Well, that’s all I have to say for now. I hope I didn’t scare anyone with my wax-on-wax-off philosophizing.